I might get a dog tomorrow! I am so excited and also really worried that it isn’t going to work out. The animal shelter has to call my landlord, and I know that they allow pets.. but I think that they may slow down the process with all of their paperwork nonsense and what if someone else picks him up and he’s gone forever!!?!? 

sigh. so anxious.

otherwise today is going really well. blue skies, sunshine and laziness. :)

This probably sounds really pathetic… Because I’m almost 24… But I have absolutely no plans for my birthday at all and I’m secretly super sad about it. :(

I can’t even think of anyone to ask to hang out over the weekend. :( joe is really busy and apologized but it just makes me sad because there were points in my life that I had a lot of people I could be with and right now I can’t think of anyone I could ask that wouldn’t be really awkward.. :(

Lonely

i just can’t figure out if i am a good person or a bad person.

sometimes my thoughts are so selfish.

but i spend so much time trying to make other people happy.

can’t i be happy too?

see. like right there.

=[

There will be a two week time period starting on October 22nd that I will have 2 full time jobs. :(

7 am- 3pm and 3pm- 10pm. Both in human services.

Will I survive this?

….

It is unknown at this time.

On a sidenote: I’m really peeved that this stressful work period has to fall in my favorite season. It is ruining fall for me. That is just the absolute worst.

my boss is giving me a second chance at four oaks for the best position in the place- DAY shifts. duuude. idk if I’ll get it.. I’m a bit scared. eeeeek! hopefully it will be sometime this week

how do you win over a boss who knows you do a good job but that you quit on just a month prior and are now asking for a full time job back???

so that is the issue… hahah.

I’m really starting to feel more comfortable and better about my new job! Now that I realize I don’t have to just run away when I feel overwhelmed, but talk to co-workers or my bosses and they really are wanting to help me out the best they can and keep me with the agency. It is great to know that people aren’t just there for the paycheck but really are passionate about what they do and care about others they work for and with.

I have been thinking all of these negative things about social work lately, but switching jobs has really been a nice motivator for me and has made me rethink my point of view a lot. Sometimes I feel like I am just overly critical and I am not sticking with it enough to let myself learn, make mistakes, and get the hang of things. I feel like I could become really comfortable with my position and do a good job in it after awhile of being with the agency. So here is hoping that will happen. :)

Still thinking that I am more interested in macro-level though when it comes to going for MSW and future careers. We shall see :)